A Thought for Today

When your friends share your passion, the extrinsic and intrinsic factors of your motivation become one in the same.

Changing my environment and the people I interact with on a daily basis has greatly reduced my level of cognitive dissonance and enabled me to really start to do what I love.

Adieu

Sept. 15, 2009

I don't regret to inform you that I will no longer have time to update this blog on a regular basis. If you've subscribed (you guys ROCK!) then you have probably already figured that out.

You see, I no longer need the blog and it was really all about ME ME ME anyway. You see school has got me busy enough and in a rich enough musical environment that I have more than enough outside motivation to get my practice on. The musicians with whom I'm playing are so much better than me (or my perception of me) that I have a healthy pile of fear at every rehearsal! It is a healthy fear because it's motivating – not debilitating.

I will keep the blog. Every once in a while I hit on a link that would be helpful to my musician friends and I'll post it and invite discussion. Also, I have no idea what activities the summer will bring, so I may start the experiment back up just to keep myself growing in a time that can get stagnant if I haven't planned many musical activities.

In case you're wondering what life is like for a doctoral candidate at a top rate school, I'll tell you this: OMFG! OMFG! OMFFFG! I'm surrounded by so much talent! There are people all around telling me that I CAN make a career as a performer – something I felt like I never used to hear. I am like a pig in acorn mush, wallowing in squishy, welcoming piles of wonderful music. We'll see what I say after my three years is up, but for now, I have to say this:

If you're looking to have a career in music, do whatever it takes to get yourself surrounded by people who share your dreams. Whatever it takes!

Here's a good link, unrelated: http://www.dallastravers.com/blog/?p=321

Peace out,

Jess

Resetting Again

Ah well. This is why I'm in school, right?

Some new practice goals. For a little while I'm only to do one key of VHs a week. This is the way they are done at my school. Who am I to go against more than fifty years of tradition? If I rock them hardcore in my next couple of lessons then I'll be allowed to maybe do two a week. Also, goodbye Milde. Hello Oubradous. Slowly. Ugh.

I have new standards to live up to, as well. This really IS why I'm in school. I tend to simply not hear some of the ways I can improve... I guess that's not a WHOLE truth...

I do hear many many ways to improve, but to keep morale up (or something) I tend to ignore some of them. I'll get to them later, right?

Well, I'm not allowed to do that anymore. How is a girl to maintain her sanity?

1. The carrots. The short term carrot: the approval of my teacher and my peers. The long term carrot: JOB, JOB, JOBBIE-JOBS!

2. Self Maintenance. Sleep. Eat. Exercise. Stretch. Snuggle. Party just a little. Give yourself permission to screw up. Take a break every once in a while (while still practicing every single day.) When teacherman isn't listening play something just for fun. Yeah. That's what I said.

3. Eyes on the prize. The real one. I'm doing what I love. And soon I'll be doing it better.

I'm here because I needed someone to crack the whip. Now I've got it and it hurts. Enough typing. Off to study for entrance exams. And then to practice.

A few days worth of Practice Logging

Friday, Aug. 6, 2010

Today I have my first bassoon lesson with my new teacher. I haven't had a chance to record myself playing my pieces. Should I just do it this morning? Do I have time?

That's a stupid question. Better I should ask, “Does it make sense to do this when I barely have time to deal with the issues it brings up?” I think it does. I shall finish my coffee, have a shower, and get to work!

I didn't record, but I did have a very productive, one hour practice session. I got through my warm-up, the CPE Bach, and Shost 9 – best playing of Shost 9, yet! My hands and wrists are tired and I'm glad to have a break for a while, but I'm not in pain.

...oh, and my lesson was just talking. Oh well. More time to practice.

Saturday, Aug. 7, 2010

Did the key of A today. It was easy, in tune, and awesome! Knowing that I may not get a second chance to practice I went ahead and worked on Shosty and CPE Bach. All was good until the second movement of CPE Bach when I started to lose focus. Aw hell. I quit, rather than wear my hands out practicing mistakes.

Monday Aug. 9

My Van Hoesens on D sucked so bad yesterday that played them again today. I will be playing them tomorrow as well.

Tuesday, Aug. 10

Did a little work on slurring to high D today. My VH key was C, so I figured I be working a lot of the same ranges as my D. I encountered a lot of the same problems. I slowed my VH-es down so much that they became more like long tones – I think I need to do more of that kind of work.

My pitch is astronomically sharp. I tried every finished reed I had and still had the same problem. I feel like my low register is leaking and affecting response, too. I'll have some questions to ask about that in my lesson tomorrow. JH, will you try my horn and tell me it's not my fault? Please?

Whenever I re-calibrate my ear to get it used to how low 440 really is, I'm amazed at how my tone quality changes. When all is working well it becomes more full and beautiful. But now, when I get my pitch down it sounds wobbly and harsh. Dubstep bassoon. Maybe I need to change my reeds after all. Ugh.

Added a daily routine today. Milde scale and arpeggio studies that correspond with the key of my VH scales. Made sense to start today b/c I just happened to be on the key of C. Today I did the scale study at quarter = 80 and the arp study at quarter = 60. That's fair for a single day's reading. We'll see if I can get them faster when I come full circle again. By then my reading should be faster and I'll be more familiar with the etudes.

It's an interesting psychological experiment for me to be doing these now. I had done them in the past with a teacher that did not work out for me, so I have a lot of negative connotations with the book. However, though those kept me from ever revisiting them before, now I can look back on the studies and what they did for me. They helped me improve my concept of key, and helped me recognize dissonances and common figures. They vastly improved my reading skills and were a tool in the development of my flick technique. Revisiting them now throws into focus that I haven't lost, but gained ability in the nearly eight years since I last played them. Good feeling!

Reset Button

Today is my fourth full day of living in a new town and my second fully functional day as a self-realized musician, here. Days 1 and 2 were necessarily without practice because of the stress that packing, moving, and unpacking put on my hands and wrists. I don't yet have a hand therapist here, and I've had at least a low grade pain in my hands and wrists the whole time.

The car accident and the move had the effect of scrambling my brains to the point where I had completely lost sight of my goals for a little while. But now it's time to get back to them. Yet again, I need to re-organize and re-prioritize. My lifestyle here is simpler with fewer friends, obligations, and distractions. Perfect for getting down to work.

Now I'm going through the Van Hoesen exercises in their complete form one key at a time. In addition I'm doing some metronome work with double tonguing and long tones on the tonic of each key each time I sit down to practice. I'm keeping track of the keys I've completed on the back of the exercise sheet.

I have my first meeting with my new teacher this Friday. Not sure whether or not he's expecting a lesson, I'd better have something prepared – besides the pile of questions I have for him.

And that thing (or those things) will be Shosty 9 and CPE Bach. That's basically what I'd been working on before the accident and that's what he'd asked me to work on. Boy, there's lots of work I can do on those, too. My intonation is horrible and I just don't have the control over my reeds that I wish I had. I think it's going to continue to come down to what it always is. Long tones, Pinky.

Practicing and Managing Big Lifestyle Changes

Things have gotten complicated. I have completely lost track of what practice I've done since my car accident. I do know that it hasn't been daily and it hasn't been as much as I'd hoped.

I see an occupational therapist three times a week. She assesses the health of my hands and gives me various treatments to reduce inflammation so that I can practice while I'm healing from my car accident. I am also taking NSAIDs 24/7 to reduce inflammation. In the morning and after long walks my hands are swollen and irritated. When I practice or type, my fingers, hands, and wrists get sore, irritated, and tired.

In addition, I'm going through some lifestyle changes that are causing some upheaval. I'm in the process of packing for a big move. I'm excited for my move, but the packing isn't good for my hands. In addition, the reason for the move - beginning my doctorate degree - has me anxious about practicing.

Also, I've decided, for ideological and financial reasons, to not get another car. It should be easy enough for me to get around in my new town, but where I live now, I have to plan for about an hour of walking and riding public transportation to get to work, the school, or my doctor's appointments.

Add to this that I'm having to live on a very very tight budget, and you might see why it's easy for me to get down, right now. I feel like I had just gotten to the point of daily practice as a habit and that has been taken away from me.

So, how can I deal with this?

Emotions. Lately when I feel myself getting down or I start to feel sorry about myself I turn it around and get angry instead. I'm not an angry person by nature, but in this case, the reaction is intentional. The anger gives me a little more energy and reminds me of my self worth - something I forget that I have when I'm not working or practicing. I just have to think about the negligence of the other driver for a few minutes and I'm reminded that my life (and my hands) have value. A few minutes later the anger has subsided and I remember my purpose and get on with things.

I know that this won't work for everyone. It's part of my nature to get depressed instead of getting angry. I don't want to be angry at other people. The other driver made a mistake that I have nearly made many times and it's a mistake that many other people will make. But if I talk myself into a little bit of anger, I'm driven to take control of my life and do what I know is right.

Time Management. You tell me. No really. Haven't figured this out, yet.

I can't practice at school at night anymore because it's not safe to walk. When I have more than one engagement in a day, I feel like I spend the whole day walking. My only consolation in that this is temporary. My new city's transportation system should be much much better and I'll be located more centrally. If getting around doesn't prove to be better there, I will be forced to get a bike or a car. But probably a car, because I have a bad history of falling off of bikes. I hope it doesn't come to that, though.

This time management issue is wreaking as much havoc on my practice as my injury.

Practicing. This is what it's all about, after all.

In some of the time I would have otherwise spent practicing, I'm studying for entrance exams. I feel like this is a wise use of my time.

I've been carrying my reed box around with me. When I have some idle time I either work on finishing reeds, or if I'm alone I whip out a reed and practice double tonguing. My double tonguing is getting more even and fluid, and just a little faster. It hasn't beat my single tongue, yet.

To make my little bit of practicing time I have at home more efficient, I've set up a program in my computer to record what I do. This is something I've been meaning to do for a while. This accident has had the silver lining of finally forcing me to do it.

Off I go to do some double tonguing.

Session(s) 35

Tuesday I did four practice sessions on about 15 minutes each. I practiced longtones on A and I worked on double tonguing.

Yesterday I spent the day talking to lawyers, teaching, and attending occupational therapy (a three hour appointment!). At OT I was encouraged to hang up the technical practice for a while, to give up typing and writint, and to "choose my battles" which I take to mean, be very limited and intentional about my practice.

I chose not to practice yesterday, BUT as I traveled around town by foot, I played around with double tonguing. Without a reed in my mouth and the air resistance of the bassoon the motions weren't exactly the same, but I feel that getting more familiar with my tongue's abilities can only help my career (insert raunchy joke here_______________).

My approach to grad school prep is going to have to change. I can't practice for three hours a day as I'd hoped. I will mostly give up typing - if I make entries, they will be short and they will include abbreviations. Sry.

Practice will focus on DTing and LTs and not on technique.

I'll fill my remaining time studying for entrance exams. Wish me luck!

Session 34

I took yesterday off. For Pete's sake, I think that's okay.

Today I practiced for 15 minutes, but it was surprisingly good! Most of the damage I took was to my right wrist. The issue with wrist injuries is that finger movement while swollen can cause nerve damage. I took a high dose of ibuprofen to reduce swelling and got to work.

Just to assess my situation, I played a slow, 2 octave, F major scale. Just as I thought, all of the notes that involved my right hand made my wrist feel uncomfortable. Sooooooooo, I got really familiar with C, D, E, and F - nothing technical; just longtons. I Heard some interesting overtones when I got my notes in tune with a sounding tuner. I also practiced bending the pitch of each note as high and as low as I could, just because it's fun. I worked on varied speeds widths of vibrato, too.

I worked on double tonguing for a little while. I can do 16th notes at 72 bpm evenly. I have a long way to go.

After about 15 minutes my wrists hurt. I had actually worked my chops enough that the muscles were a little bit tired, too. I feel like I actually did some good work in just a few minutes. Then I went and immediately iced my wrists down.

I think I can do work like this a couple of times a day. The most strenuous part was putting my instrument together, so I left it together. I'm not getting very much moisture in the bore.

Ibuprofen, ice, and lots of short sessions should keep me in shape until I'm ready for technical work again. I'll do a different assessment scale every day, too.

Session 33, then CRUNCH!

Yesterday I had a fabulous, though brief, practice session. w00t!

I had been feeling a little like procrastinating an waiting until after work to practice, but that would have been late and I knew that I'd be tired from work.

Well, gentle readers, it's a good thing I didn't procrastinate because on my way to work... CRUNCH!

Got into a car accident. There were no fatalities, but I sustained some damage to my wrists. They're swollen pretty badly, so I'm going to stop typing now. I've taken one day of break from bassoonery. Tomorrow I'll see how it feels. Yarp.

Easier than I thought?

Woo hoo!

It turned out that the progressions that I was dreading weren't that hard! I've worked on the Van Hoesen scales in the past, just somehow never learned the broken arpeggio patterns. It turns out that the chord progressions are like riding a bike. Today I worked on the keys of C, F, and Bb. I fully expected to make it through only one key today. As the keys get harder it will take me longer, but this is a pleasant surprise, for sure.

... but perfection isn't my goal.

Well, if perfection isn't my goal, what is?

For a while, in my practice, I'm going to focus on quantity of certain things and quality of others. I am striving for perfection in my scales and in the pieces I'm working on that I hope to perform. With my etudes I'm not going to sweat perfection so much. My goal with them is to increase the speed and accuracy with which I read. I hope to learn to recognize more patterns in the music I play and get more comfortable with keys and accidentals.

Sessions 25-32

Okay, I've been delinquent in writing about my practice, but I haven't been delinquent about practicing. I've been practicing every day for over a month. That's a milestone! At this point I feel no resistance to practicing - as if my habit is now TO practice as opposed to NOT practicing. I've found places I can practice when it's not appropriate to practice at my place. My friend with a house to himself and the night janitors at the school are getting used to me.

Today I'll be working on #5 of the Gambaro book. That means I've been doing a little better on average than my estimate of two days per study.

The new scale pattern I'm learning for the Van Hoesen scales is coming along nicely. I'm about to the point where I can play the notes in my sleep - I'm working hard on intonation of those notes and the connections between them. Unfortunately, I'm having a very very hard time with leaps to high Eb and E. Nothing new for me. Maybe I should change my reeds.

I need to figure out a strategy for my next step with Van Hoesen scales. Here's the issue: the work I need to do becomes exponentially harder for here on out. Whereas I've been playing one pattern in every key every day, my next step involves learning a chord progression of five chords in each key - 5 times as much work. The step after that involves seven chords in each key. Then I need smush it all together. The point is this: OMG!!!1! I'm going to need 12 hours a day just to get through my scales!

So these two guys are at a bar...

Guy #1: I'll bet you your IRA that I can eat that bicycle sitting over there.

Guy #2: That sounds like a great bet. Even if you do eat that bike, I just started my IRA. There's only $20 in there. It's worth twenty bucks just to watch you try. Snicker snicker.

Guy #1: Okay! whispers You'll be sorryyyyyyyyyy...

Guy #1 proceeds to a machine shop and has the bike ground into a fine powder. He then proceeds to his local apothecary and has them put the powder into millions of little capsules.

Guy #1 takes two of the capsules with each meal. 50 years later he takes the last capsule, and lives for free for the rest of his life off of the retirement account of Guy #2, who happened to be a savvy investor.

Moral of this story: I'm full of it. Dude would have died of iron poisoning after a week...

Real moral: Break your practice into digestible chunks and you can do just about anything.

Today I'll start working on those chords.

Days 21 through 24

Day 21

Practiced late. Very tired. Finished the Weissenborn!!

Day 22

Practiced late, again. My inclination is to say "Oh man! I need to stop this!" But in reality, I thoroughly enjoy practicing when I'm sleepy. I get into an incredibly focused, trance-like state. It feels soooooo goooood!

I wonder how much I really get done in these times. I practiced anything that I didn't need to read with my eyes closed. I felt much more connected with the sound and my instrument. When I did read, it was much more accurate and less distracted. I felt no inhibitions or pressures.

Maybe the more I get in that mind-state the better. Isn't that the mind-state you need to be in during performances?

The only problem I have with late practicing is when I don't also practice earlier in the day. During my late practices, I'm not very goal oriented. I tend to do what feels good. I think I make huge progress, but am not "working hard" towards specific goals.

...but maybe that's not even true. I did my scales and some new Van Hoesen exercises and I went back over some Weissenborn etudes that were in nastier keys and had high e's and eb's. That's some serious work! Maybe goal setting needs to be done consciously and real productive practice gets done on a subconscious level.

Day 23

Mandatory minimum day. I taught. I love teaching!

I also tried a newly refurbished Puchner bassoon and absolutely loved it! It was old - needed high d and high e keys - but it had a wonderfully sparkly tone, was light and flexible, and had even tone and intonation. It was also very light - maybe a good thing for my CTS. It's really got me thinking.

At the very least I need to get some work done on my Fox. I shouldn't have to struggle to keep the pitch down in the lower portion of the instrument as much as I do.

Day 24 - Today

Continuing work on Van Hoesen patterns. Going to begin reading the Gambarro book. There are 18 etudes, but they are longer and harder. I'm going to give myself two days to work on each. That means I should be done with the book by August 6th. Wish me luck!

~~~

The Van Hoesen patterns were rough. Right now I'm working on broken arpeggios, connection between intervals of 3rd, 4th, and 5th. This is great because it gets me thoroughly grounded in each key - something I'm weak at. It's very very easy to hear intonation problems with this pattern and it works larger intervals than regular scales.

Gambaro #1 was great. It's charming! Hard enough to keep me working, but not so hard as to be discouraging. It had an adagio intro - the kind with lots of different subdivisions of a slow beat. Serious counting work, a lot like Milde. Then it moved onto a technical part that challenges the breathing as much as the fingers. I think my original estimate of two days each is a good one. They won't be perfect, but perfection isn't my goal.

Some Less Obvious Benefits of Daily Practice

Regular practice is improving my life. Here's how:

Every day I reaffirm my purpose. When I sit down to practice, I'm not only working towards my somewhat arbitrary goal of playing bassoon every day for six months, I am striving towards something very important to me. My purpose is to make the world a more beautiful place. Music is my medium. Every day that I play the bassoon I achieve this purpose, even if the "world" consists of my practice room.

I build confidence. Through creation and maintenance of my skills, I build the confidence to increase the scope of influence of my music. The daily act of practicing reinforces my understanding that each of my choices is intentional. I may have no control over the weather or the World Cup, but I have ultimate control over how I spend my time.

I build and maintain healthy habits. Through choosing to spend my time practicing I'm choosing to not spend my time doing things that aren't as good for me. Since the beginning of this experiment I have eaten more healthfully, I've spent less money, I've spent more time with my closest friends and family, I've drunk less, and I've maintained healthier sleeping habits. This is all due to a burgeoning acceptance of the value of my time. If I drink or don't get enough sleep, I've thrown away hours of my life when I could have practiced. If I neglect the needs of my family or myself I lose time to worry. If I spend money unwisely I've lost not only the resource of that money, but I've thrown away all of the time it took to earn it and will need to do make that money all over again.

Do you recognize any positive side effects to your practice? Let us know in the comments!

Days 16 through, um, 20

Those of you who do math may be asking, Shouldn't that be 16 through 21?

No, I say.

It finally happened. I finally missed a day of practice. Ouch.

Monday, June 21st, just so happened to be my 30th birthday. Closing a decade full of self-seeking and beginning a new decade filled with the confidence of knowing one's self is cause for celebration! Though I intended to practice, I am giving myself permission to shrug this off. It was a significant day filled with appropriate celebration and I have no regrets.

Day 16

This was father's day. I had hoped to play bassoon with my little sister - a beginning bass clarinetist - for my father, but instead got waylaid by a surprise birthday party! It was a blast (with food and wine) but everyone cleared out by 11:00. I made my way down to the basement to practice, so as not to bother the natives. Dad's always said that the distant sound of bassoons in the basement never bothered his sleep much, anyway.

Very tired (5 hours in the car, and a two event party), perhaps just slightly tipsy, and yet again without a music stand (this time because I was too lazy to bring one from upstairs), all I got done were scales. I fulfilled my mandatory minimum, though! The thing I learned from this adventure was this: Basements are creepy, yo. For real! I kept seeing things out of the corner of my eye, feeling like I was watched, and feeling generally weirded out. It was really hard to maintain any kind of focus.

Would-be day 17 involved a fifth-grade "graduation" ceremony, errands, lunch with family, 4 hours in the car, a thirtieth birthday, and then a pleasant evening of patio-sitting with close friends. No, I did not practice. That is OK.

So, Day 17 (I messed up the consecutive thing, but I'll still go for 180 days) actually ended up being Tuesday, June 22nd. This day was perhaps the biggest triumph so far.

Tuesday I woke up feeling like crud. (Not a surprise. I don't think I need to tell you why.) Lingered around the house, cleaning and napping, until I had to go to work. Got done with work at around 9pm at which point a) I could have not practiced, lost my momentum, felt terrible about myself, quit the blog, dropped out of school, quit bassoon, and stumbled my way through the next decade of life, lost, and feeling like I'd squandered an incredible opportunity or b) I could suck it up and practice.

As you already know, I chose B! Yes, B! B! B!!!1!

That's right, gentle readers, after briefly straying, I have returned to my path. The one that rocks! I practiced, yet again, without a music stand at a friend's house. There was no privacy, it sucked because I missed a day, and I was terribly embarrassed, but I DID IT!

Day 18 - Back to work

Got the ol' momentum back, ladies and gents. Practiced in the afternoon - not late at night - and with a music stand. Did some reed work, worked on double tonguing, did some interval work to get my ear in shape, and worked on Shosty 9, which just-so-happens-to-be all about the intonation. w00t!

Day 19

Yesterday involved a spontaneous get-together, which threatened my mandatory minimum. Eek!

Fear not, gentle reader. Your faithful narrator fulfilled her daily bassooney duties by putting on an impromptu concert for two of her buds! It involved a little bit of Rite (one bud recognized, the other did not), a little bit of Beethoven 9 (really just Ode to Joy by ear, prob in the wrong key, by request of the bud that did not know Rite), an improvised Pink Panther (same bud, this was a little hard to figure out), and some CPE Bach (requested Big Daddy Bach, but couldn't find the music to the flute partita that I know).

They were a great audience! Considerate, thankful, and easily pleased. I hope they enjoyed the experience as much as I did.

And that brings up to today, Day 20.

All of my days are so full. Soon I need a day with no plans. Today I worked at the restaurant, and had a million errands to run before I could practice. My inbox is still overflowing, but I got my practicing in.

Today I skipped my majors and minors and went straight to majors in thirds. I'm wondering if running my majors and minors is still the best use of my time - if I only have time for one session. I have lots things I need to work on before school starts:

1. I'm still cleaning up the top of my scales in thirds.

2. There's a Van Hoesen scale pattern I've never worked on before. Just broken arpeggios, but the top intervals are very challenging for me, at the moment.

3. I need to have the Van Hoesen chord progressions completely fluent.

4. I'm almost finished with the Weissenborn book - made it up to #48 today. When I'm done I need to visit more of the Milde etudes. I've done maybe a third of the concert studies and I need to revisit the scale studies in the nastier keys.

5. Need to focus on audition music.

6. Double tonguing and flutter-tonguing.

...and then there's the pile of school related work that's unrelated to bassoon, like theory review, history review, piano practice, sight-singing practice... I'm not stressed or anything!

But really folks, I guess I'll need to be doing some re-prioritization. This was a pretty slack week, after all.

Tomorrow is going to be another tough one. I wake up early and drive over six hours to attend my grandparents' 50th wedding anniversary party. I don't even know where I'll end up spending the night, but I'll need to find some time alone to practice. This may get interesting - look for reports of bassoonery at highway rest stops!

After this weekend I should be able to get on a bit more of a routine, at least for a while. I look forward to a calmer couple of weeks and perhaps some time spent in practice rooms and libraries.

Days 14 and 15

Day 14 was a bust. I did play my bassoon a little, but I'm not sure I'd call what I did practicing. Does merely playing fulfill my mandatory minimum? Today, for my sanity, I'll say yes.

Yesterday I worked at the restaurant, taught a couple of lessons, and clocked seven hours in the car. That my bassoon even made it out of its case is a victory!

Today, though, I had a good practice session. I played all of my scales (even in 3rds and whole tone scales) and several memorized excerpts. It was an interesting exercise in concentration, because I'm in a place that is quiet, but not private. Family was all around and felt free to comment - Mom laughed every time I made a mistake!

Some simple lessons from today: 1. keep a music stand in the car. I would have loved to have read a couple of Weissenborn Etudes today 2. cargo shorts suck to play bassoon in. I already know this.

Tomorrow I'll practice for my father.

Day 13

An unlucky day? I don't know.

Yet again, I'm about to practice later in the day than I'd hoped. I'm exhausted after trying to cram a week's worth of tasks into one day. Instead of feeling refreshed and excited about a day off of work, I feel beaten down by every other obligation life has for me.

Maybe practice will help.

The Session

Sucked.

Practiced majors and minors and did a little double tonguing. Honestly, I just feel tired and need a break. Feel like I'm never going to play better if I don't have longer focused practiced sessions, but I've already had a long day with lots of stress and disappointment. Fitting ending.

Day 12

Today I practiced at the school from 10-11pm. I worked on nothing but major and minor scales. It was good and I still had plenty of mental stamina after an hour, but my wrists started hurting. Both of them. This is not good.

I was diagnosed with carpel tunnel syndrome when I was in high school. After some physical therapy, high doses of ibuprofen, and some minor changes in playing position the problem was alleviated. I occasionally have flare ups, but I hadn't had one in such a long time that I got careless.

Tonight before I practiced I drank a sugary, caffeinated beverage. Both sugar and caffeine lead to inflammation, which is the ultimate cause of CTS. This is just one in a million reasons to stay away from soda. I have no plans on giving up coffee, but I don't usually put any sugar in it, I usually have it with a meal (breakfast), and most often there's at least an hour between the time I finish my coffee and the time that I practice.

Another strategy to deal with CTS involves practicing more often at shorter intervals. In order to achieve this goal I'll have to start practicing much earlier in the day. With a day job and preparation for my move going on, I'm not sure that this is an attainable goal. I will keep it in mind while I schedule my days.

The room in which I practiced tonight had a large mirror. This is part of the reason that I focused on raw technique. I could see tension in the muscles in my forearms when I came to an area of my scales where I felt uncomfortable. Strangely, I would have never said that I felt uncomfortable about any of my scales until I viewed myself in the mirror. This was a great cue as to which parts of the scales needed attention. I felt instantly repaid by giving those spots a little bit of attention.

I also practiced with my tuner on, but not in my direct line of sight. I practiced playing a note (began with low F), listening closely to the timbre, and placing it where I thought its equal-tempered tuning should be. Then I'd check the tuner to see how I did. My concept of most notes is right on! The exceptions were no surprise: my concept of C# above the staff, low D, and the extremely high register is sharp. I need to address this on a regular basis.

I would have liked to have practiced longer, today. I feel like my basic technique is getting better, but I feel like I haven't worked on music in a while. I know that this is irrational because I spent some great time on the Bach on Monday, however, I won't ignore the feeling. I think it's a sign that I'm abusing my mandatory minimums. I didn't know that my CTS was going to flare up today, but I should not have made practicing my last task of the day.

Even if my performance today was lackluster, I still pursued my passion. That's something to be proud of! What did you do today to pursue your passion? Tell us in the comments!

Days 9, 10, and 11

Thank god for mandatory minimums!

I think I may have finally figured out how to maintain my balance in life. That's a big statement to make, but really guys... really.

I have exercised my self-given right to practice just-a-little for three out of eleven days. That's not great, but it's better than I would have done last year. Last year I would have skipped several days, backpedaled considerably, and felt terrible about myself. Instead I've practiced, if only a little, every day for eleven days and I feel great about myself. It's allowed me to maintain my somewhat spontaneous... capricious... okay, compulsive lifestyle while still becoming a better bassoonist.

Day 9

Took a spontaneous trip to southern WV to visit friends. Ended up practicing out in the woods among the trees. It was a wonderfully pleasant experience to play outside and I think my bassoon enjoyed being around his extended family. I didn't have a music stand, so I practiced only things I could play from memory. I played Rite, Tchaik 4, Marriage of Figaro, Ravel G major, and plenty of other excerpts that I can't remember at the moment. Played majors and minors. Stayed away from thirds because there were people around to hear, but I did tackle some intonation issues in the upper register. The woods are a great place to hear your naked tone.

Day 10

Exhausted from the drive and a busy shift at work, but I made it to the school to practice at night. It was an interesting experience. I was so tired and it was dark and very, very quiet. I closed my eyes and practiced hard for about an hour and a half. I got close with my tone and intonation. I could feel technique developing under my fingers.

I worked on the d# minor Weissenborn etude that I'd had so much trouble with and had a much better experience. Tackled the next etude which was in eb minor. Did just fine.

Door kept making a creepy sound and freaking my out or I would have stayed a lot longer.

Day 11

This was most definitely my lamest practice day, but I needed to chill out hard. I played some scales in thirds and taught a lesson. I always play a lot in lessons. Not great, but I feel like I'll wake up tomorrow ready to go. I love to play the bassoon, but if I don't relax sometimes I'll begin to resent it. It's happened before and I don't want it to happen again.

How's that for justification?

Day 8

Today is Saturday. I woke up feeling like crud.

After some food, some time with my book and some coffee I managed to get in enough practice that I fulfilled my mandatory minimum. Did some great technical work on my major and minor scales. Then I read one Weissenborn etude that was written in d sharp minor. Ugh. It sucked.

Since it's such an unfamiliar key, I'm going to read it again tomorrow :)

Tonight I have what will most likely be a busy shift at the restaurant. I'm closing, which will keep me out late. I will not get a second session in today.

Day 7, Session 2

It was hard to sit down and practice, yesterday for session 2. I had worked a long, steady shift at the restaurant and all I wanted to do was relax.

I managed to complete my daily warmups and read another etude. I decided that this more than fulfilled my mandatory minimum and spent the rest of the evening relaxing.